Late night rambles part 3
I must often choose what to share of myself.
To bare it all means unveiling
all the ugliness that populates my past.
Not my own ugliness, although
It sometimes feels like it.
Shame, doubt, heartbreak.
Indifference, outrage, and worst of all,
Hope.
To bare it all means hoping
for another outcome.
And even if I’ve been proven wrong
Many times
I cannot bear the thought
of another rejection.
A single one
weighs a ton
when it should weigh
less than nothing at all.
My mind, my body, my gender, my heart,
have been weaponized against me too often
for me to handle them so lightly.
And yet hope
this pesky thing
how it grates.
It makes me want to share,
want to bare myself
to you.
My naked form.
A child,
a goddess,
a pair of tits, and an ass.
Nothing.
A clever mind
burdened by a fractured soul.
Nothing.
Two eyes, looking at you.
Can you see under all of it?
The nothingness.
Can you peel back the ugliness?
Can you catch me as I uncoil and spring forward?
Guide me through the motions.
Am I enough?
Am I alive?
Existing for others is exhausting.
Do I exist here, now?
With you, no one else.
Just for you. And me.
Hold me while I exist.
